Dream Theater 1.5, But First...

Okay, I will get to the next part of the "Rod Stewart Dream" saga, but first, I had a weird day. I was working about a mile from home in the neighborhood where my ex-wife's parents(and the ex, sometimes) live. I was following my claimant and the person ended up at the complex where both of my ex-inlaws work. So even though I know several other people that work there, going in and asking any questions is out, because it could get me in trouble very quickly. As I am following my subject back home, I pass my ex going the other way. About a half hour later, I got home and soon after, I receive a call. The ex is calling to tell me one of our old pets was just put to sleep and she thought I should know(actually, rather thoughtful of her), and, "Hey, do you want to go out to dinner sometime?". *NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! you stupid bitch NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!* My actual response was, "I don't like you, I really don't have anything to say to you and I don't want to fight with you. You are about the only thing that stresses me out anymore. I don't need that." I was trying to be nice about it, but, it probably came out pretty blunt.

Anyway, on with the fun stuff:

So, if you are not a regular reader of my sister's blog(hell, until the last few days, none of us have been for months), you need to read her entry, HERE, first.


Done?

Good, now we can move on.

A few weeks after the Steph called me to share this dream with me, I had to work down in Baltimore. My company nor myself were licensed in Maryland at the time, so, we had to work with another company's employee present in order to be legal. Wait, let me go back a day or two before this so it will make a bit more sense.

I was driving through north Jersey a few days prior to my Maryland trip. I had heard on the radio that Rod Stewart was playing at a local venue that night and Poison(you'll see) was playing at the same venue the next night. I call Steph as soon as I hear the commercial for both acts, because, A) any time I hear something about Rod Stewart it is almost a Pavlovian response to call her, and B) Poison being mentioned in the same commercial as Rod Stewart just about made me drive off the road in a fit of laughter(you'll find out why soon enough).

So, the other employee I had to work with happened to be a Brit who had just moved to the U.S. a few months prior. With Rod Stewart being so fresh in my mind I had to use this man to mess with the Steph. I told him about the dream and phone call and asked if he would talk to her and pretend to be Rod Stewart. He was more than happy to oblige. So, being about 9 a.m. on a Saturday morning, I place a phone call to my sister, who, let me tell you is not a morning person by nature(think SATAN on a bad day, if you wake her before noon). And here is how the conversation went.

ME: Hey, Steph, guess who I am sitting next to.

STEPH: *very groggy* Who?

ME: Rod Stewart.

STEPH: Yeah right, and I am about to wake up David Hasselhoff(yes Hasselhoff is a somewhat regular occurrence in our conversations) and see if he wants pancakes for breakfast.

ME: No, seriously, he stayed at the same hotel I am at, because he was performing in town and I told him about your dream. He thought it was funny and would like to talk to you.

at this point I handed the phone to the brit.

BRIT: Ello, Love.

STEPH: Who is this?

BRIT: Who do you think this is?

STEPH: *her angelic self appears* How the fuck should I know? My brother calls me up and hands the phone to a stranger, how should I know who you are?

BRIT: This is Rod Stewart.

STEPH: Seriously, who the fuck is this?

They converse for a few moments at which point the Steph tells this Englishman...

STEPH: That is the worst British accent I have ever heard. You really need to work on your accent.

The brit starts to chuckle and hands me back the phone.

ME: What did you just say to him?

STEPH: I just told him his british accent sucks.

ME: *started laughing hysterically* DUDE! He's really British! *almost in tears at this point*

The Steph starts laughing and yet somehow, still manages to berate me for calling her so early in the morning and "What the fuck did you expect, dickhead!" I believe were her exact words. We still laugh heartily at this whole situation every time it comes up.

Stay tuned to the Steph's blog for the Poison reference in this story.