Family Fun Time

My brother is visiting from Los Angeles this week for the holiday. He arrived in town last night. The family went out to dinner and then he and I went to one of his friend's houses. His friend is in town from Chicago. We drink and talked and then they continued drinking and we continued talking. I really miss my brother. Just like with Steph, he and I rarely got along when we were growing up, but as adults we are great friends. I met one of his high school/college friends last year over Christmas and another one of that same group last night. It is so much fun hearing about the crap that they got themselves in to. I heard about some of it when it was happening, but a lot of the details were completely new to me. I realized last night how interesting our lives have been since we separated.

I always thought his was interesting. He is a little over a year older than me and was two years ahead of me in school. He has been in school since he graduated highschool and is now pursuing his PhD in Classics (Latin-something-or-other). He has lived in KC, Norwich (England) and LA. In KC he received his undergrad degree, and then went to KU and earned his Masters. While there he made some money just by being in the Masters program, did research work and had other odd jobs from grocery stores to food delivery. Who knows what else he did to get by. From there it was over to England to live for a bit while his girlfriend finished her Masters program. While there he washed windows. He wasn't supposed to be working since he didn't have the proper visas. But, he made it work. When he moved back to the states, it was back to the KC area while he applied to different Doctoral programs. He finally got accepted to one of the best programs in the country out in LA and headed west where he has been for the past few three years. He makes more money in salary just by being a student and teaching undergrad classes (1 a semester, and I don't think he has to do that at this point) than I do where I am at. He gets to travel to Europe every summer (mainly Italy). Some summers he worked on archeological dig sites in Sicily and last year he taught a class at an American University somewhere outside of Rome. If he gets accepted, he will be spending a year at the American Academy in Rome starting next fall, while he continues his work on his discertation.

Over that time, I got married and received an undergrad degree in Criminal Justice. While doing that I worked in retail and in a factory. I went through the six month long hiring process for the Missouri State Highway Patrol three times, making it into the final phase twice. The only reason I am not a patrolman today is because when they asked if I could "take a life in the line of duty, yes or no, and why?" I answered, "No. I think that I could given the training and circumstance, but until I am placed in that situation I cannot honestly answer yes." I spent a majority of my two final interviews explaining my answer. Both of my parents had strings that they were pulling for me, I had passed everything else, but could not answer that question to their satisfaction. Thank God for that. I would not be nearly as happy today if I had. I became a PI when I got laid off from the factory and while working a file in Philadelphia I had a gun pointed at my head. I know now that I do not deal well with that sort of stress and would not have been happy as an officer who faces that possibility with every traffic stop and emergency call. I had moved to Philadelphia about the time my brother headed to Europe, and managed to work all over the United States. I have seen parts of this country that even the most traveled Americans never will. It was a very unique experience. I ended up moving back to St. Louis when my wife decided she was unhappy in Philadelphia. About three months later I was going through a divorce, turns out it wasn't just Philadelphia that was making her unhappy. By moving back I had given up any real opportunity for advancement in my company and had been slowly becoming burnt out with all of the travel and extra unpaid working hours and lack of a personal life. Once I got my head on straight after my divorce, I decided I needed to return to school and pursue a different path. I found a job as a drain cleaner and returned to school. Since then I have entered an accounting program and started working at a nursing home.

Neither of us would have ever guessed that we would be where we are now, back when we were first beginning our often interesting journeys. But, as I have come to realize, we are both very happy people who may not be traditionally "successful" but we know what real success is. Happiness. And I can say that his ability and willingness to follow his happiness where it lead him, inspired me to not be afraid to make the changes in my life that have lead to my fulfillment. I just wish that most of our time together wasn't spent talking on the phone, 2000 miles apart.