Monday, October 08, 2007

Recovery Time

Don't expect me to be this prolific for long. I am sitting at home recoving from my surgery and will probably be spending a bit of my time online. When I am online in the fall I check my ski resort site everyday. Today, I saw this picture and am now truly excited for January.

I love the sight of snow in Steamboat. Come on January.

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Finally, An Update

Is anyone out there still reading this?

If so, here goes.

Over the past 6 months, I had been dating a nurse I used to work with. It started out ok, but we broke up and got back together 3 seperate times. I fell a bit too hard for her. The last time we broke up, I told her that I would not pursue her anymore. She knew how I felt about her and if she didn't feel the same way she needed to do what she had to do. It took her 12 hours to call me and continue our relationship. We slowed things down a bit, talked a whole lot and went out several nights a week, over the next month. Last month, she told me she was pregnant. We decided we were going to have the baby, because everything was going very well adn by the time it would have been born, we would have been together long enough to know each other much better. Let me add that she already has a 10 year old son.

That all changed last Sunday. She called me after I left her apartment and told me she didn't love me, we were just good friends and she could not go through with it because she didn't want another broken family. She said she needed some time alone to think about things. Knowing her as well I thought I did, I knew she was leaning toward having an abortion. I told her that I did not want her to do it and to call me before she did anything. For the next two days, I waited. On Tuesday she sent me a text telling me that she had an appoinment for Friday and that it would take 5 hours. After several hours of trying to make any sort of contact, including going to her apartment, she would not talk to me. I have never felt so much pain, as I did over the next few days. Did you all know, there are no rights for the father of a child until the baby is born?

To make things even more difficult, I had surgery for a hernia scheduled for Friday, myself. I sent her a message begging her not to kill my baby, on Thursday night. But, I did not hear anything from her until I came out of my surgery. There was a text message on my phone saying that the baby wasn't even mine and to never contact her again. It turns out that she had been sleeping around while we were "taking things slow".

Why do I always find the dishonest, cowards? The women that just cannot seem to be honest with me even when that is all I ask. Are there any good women out there that are interested in an honest, loyal, thoughtful man? Please, someone tell me that it is worth my while to be as nice as I am. Because, no matter what I do, I keep getting broken. I hate being an asshole, I am no good at it, but it seems that is the only way to get ahead anymore.

I guess that is enough of a rant for now. Sorry, to be so deep, so soon in my return.

Friday, October 05, 2007

What Should Have Been

I will never feel you in my arms
Your laughter won't grace my soul
Although I have never met you
You already make me whole

From the moment I learned of you
This great love I've had to share
Knowing I can't help you now
Is more than I can bear