Monday, October 31, 2005

Happy Halloween?

After the party Saturday, I came home, posted and went to bed. I woke up Sunday with what I thought was a hangover. Nope. I was getting a massive head cold. I know this because today, I woke up and felt worse than I did yesterday. I decided to sack up and head out to my case, and not waste a personal day. When I talked to my boss and told him how I was feeling, he rewarded me by telling me I was working until 8pm(I was 2 hrs away from home so my day ended at 10p. 16+ hrs today) and I needed to be on site on my case tomorrow at 6a(it is about an hour from home). However, he did give me Wednesday off to recover from however I decide to spend tomorrow evening. I expect by the end of the night I won't be able to feel my knees again.

I hope y'all had a fun evening, however you spent it. Happy Halloween.

P.S. While reading through my regular blogs I happened upon a this link thanks to this guy. Outstanding. Thanks, Chris.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

I can't feel my knees

I'm going to bed.

Friday, October 28, 2005


Whew, I dodged a bullet today. I have been planning on going to a Halloween party at a friend's house on Saturday and had Sunday off to recover. My boss called today and told me that I might have to work if he could not get ahold of a coworker who he wanted to have work it. I explained to him that I was going to a party and had no problem working on Sunday, but, that I would be drinking and had no idea what time I would be done partying and that I would be very late in ariving at the case. When I got home tonight my weekend assignments were on my e-mail and Sunday I am free to recover however slowly I need to.

For those of you who are in need of a cheap, last minute costume idea, get a small candle and carry it around. Tell people you are a candle holder.

I was over at Dani's blog today and found a new sidebar item for my blog. I have no idea how they figure it out, but, my blog is worth $23,146.14. If that is true I think I will sell it. You can determine you blog's worth by looking at the bottom of my sidebar or visiting Dani.

Hope y'all have a good weekend.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

I Accept

Kay Ray tagged me and since I have been searching for something to blog about for a second day in a row(who knew), here goes.

7 Things Lists

Seven things I want to do before I die:
1. Find the love of my life(me too)
2. Learn a second language
3. Visit another continent
4. Retire
5. Build a kit version of a 1965 Shelby Cobra
6. Have a family
7. Make a difference

Seven things I can do:
1. A mean Kermit impression
2. Skate(ice and roller)
3. Drive a stick shift
4. Amuse myself
5. Make friends
6. Listen
7. Respect myself

Seven things I cannot do:
1. Dance
2. Hold a grudge(I only hold one)
3. Learn to like country music
4. Drink beer
5. Sing(I stole #5-#7, because they are true for me as well)
6. Hide my feelings
7. Hold in cuss words

Seven things I say a lot:
1. Brilliant
2. What?
3. Nice
4. Jerksauce
5. Brother(I blame Jo-jo for this one)
6. Dude
7. @#*^%

Seven things I find attractive in a female:
1. Honesty
2. The ability to be happy
3. A sense of humor
4. Responsibility
5. A nice smile
6. The ability to get along with my friends and family
7. A love of hockey

Seven things I find unattractive in a female:
1. Dishonesty
2. Slobs
3. Cowardice
4. Laziness
5. Spoiled women
6. Irresponsibility
7. Pushy women

Seven celebrity crushes:
1. Salma Hayek
2. Jessica Biel
3. Nikki Taylor
4. Charlize Theron
5. Natalie Portman
6. Claire Forlani
7. Eliza Dushku

Seven random people who have to do this next:

Anyone who wants to do this is more than welcome. I won't tag anyone.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

My Boss and Me

I don't have a schedule at my job. I find out a day or two in advance what I am doing and when I am going to have time off. I was off Sunday and Monday and did not get a chance to call into the office to check on my schedule on Monday. This is normally not a problem. My boss will call at some point and tell me what I can expect. Or, if that doesn't happen he will at least send me an e-mail with my case info and start time. Unfortunately, my boss was absent on Monday and I was unaware of this fact until Tuesday morning.

I got home Monday afternoon from about a week down in the sticks and I spent 16 hours on the road over my two days off. I went to KC to pick up my 96 Mustang and returned with it to my Dad's place(12 hrs) where it will be parked while I slowly restore it to good condition, then, had to travel the 4 hrs home on Monday.

I got home from running around after my office closed and checked my e-mail since I had not heard from my boss. I had not received any case info. At any other job, this would mean I had the day off, however, I know I am not that lucky and knew that someone had screwed up and not sent me my info. I called my boss's cell and left him a message, figuring I would cover my ass. I never received a return call, so, I set my alarm for 7am(my boss's normal start time) and figured I would find out the next morning what the deal was.

6:55 a.m. Tuesday: I was awakened by my phone ringing. A fellow investigator was calling. We were supposed to be working together about 2 hrs from my house and he was wondering where I was at. That was the start of a great last two days. I finally got ahold of my boss's boss at about 8:30 and was told my boss had been out on Monday and Tuesday and he was running our team and had sent my e-mail to a non-existent address(inspiring much confidence in his ability to run our department) and that he had a new case for me. I was to start at 11am.

I was a few miles away from my case when I received a phone call from a second manager asking for an activity update. I told him I was just arriving and he asked me why I had started so late. I told him his boss had directed me to do so. He was very puzzled by the intructions I received and told me to continue to my case but that I would probably be pulled off as soon as I arrived and sent somewhere else.

About 20 minutes later, I received a call from a third manager, telling me to go to a different case and that I would be checking in with him for the rest of the day. Then I was told that I would be working a case I had worked several times before, on Wednesday(today) but, was given no further special instruction. I worked into the evening went home and checked my reports from prior days of surveillance. I determined from these notes that I did not have to start until late morning since that was how I worked it before.

This morning I arrived at my case, figured out what I needed to know before checking in with my boss and placed the phone call to check in. I told him what he needed to know in order to update the client, including what time I arrived. My boss, returning from several days of being sick returned to a mess. I was supposed to receive instructions on the case to work it specific hours, which were much earlier than when I really started. At this point he asked why I had chosen a late start time and I had to explain to him that he had instructed me to start it that late the last time I worked the case and we had observed the claimant an that occasion.

I am thankful he has returned, because, I know where I am supposed to be tomorrow and who I am working with. I also know what time I need to start. I have not had the best working relationship with my boss as of late but, thank God he is back.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Another Week Gone By

Hi all. I know I have been posting rather infrequently lately. But, I have worked a lot and have very little other material. Last week, I managed to work every day, most of them, into the evening. Those of you that read the Steph's blog already know that I attended the NIN/Queens of the Stoneage show with her. Those were the tickets I won when I was entered into the Vegas drawing. I had given the tics to Steph because she is a huge fam of Queens and I am only a casual observer of either band. I am glad her friend canceled on her and I got to go. I was really impressed by NIN, and although, Queens sounded like they could play, I don't think the venue was really all that flattering for their sound. I think they would be better outside.

I was sent an email about a trip to San Fran for work, however, it was scooped up almost immediately by a higher seniority guy. Damn, I love that city.

Does anyone else hear that? It sounds like burnt waffles.

Sometimes I wish I would say stupid things when no one else was around. At least then, I wouldn't have to worry about them getting out to the masses. But, then again, if I was only saying them to myself, I would either be very lonely or crazy. However, with as easily as I amuse myself, they would probably still be as funny.

Last night I attended a Missouri River Otters(very fearsome creatures) preseason hockey game at the little rink in the mall. They normally play at a large local arena but for some reason, had this game scheduled for the little practice rink. Being as avid a hockey fan as I am, I had never attended one of their games. I love playing hockey, watching hockey, skating, and even standing in the rink just to smell the ice(for those of you that don't know, yes, it does have a smell), but in all the years that we had a cheap alternative to the Blues, including last year, I never attended a game. After seeing that game last night, I will be attending as many as I can get to this year. That is how hockey is supposed to be played. Of course the skill level, was not as high as the other leagues(4 of the Blues did play for them last year during the lockout, so it is no slouch league), but, damn those guys can play and the passion and disreguard for their bodies that they show is awesome. I saw more hip checks thrown in that preseason game than I have seen thrown in a full NHL season and I couldn't count the fights on one hand. I love the NHL(who seem to be outlawing most contact), but it is nice to see some good, rough hockey is still being played. The Otters' home opener is only 4 days away. If I am in town, I think I will attend.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

As Promised

My friend who went to Vegas with me finally took a bit of time(which he does not have much of) and sent me the pics he took of me in all my gigolo glory. Thanks, A, I know how much of a crunch you are under all the time and appreciate you taking some of your spare time to send the pics. Without furhter ado, here are a few of my favorites. Please note from now on, the Jackass will be my profile pic.

This is Strawberry Luv and I, on the bus going to the contest.

From left to right: Atlanta, Toronto, Phoenix, New York, and Me

Group birdies.

Panama Jackass. This is a cropped and shrunk down version of my favorite pic from the trip.

Well, y'all I hope it was worth the wait. There are other pics, but these are the best ones.

Blues update: My boys finally won one tonight. Lalime actually looked solid. However, he has to even out his record before I will give him a break. The Cardinals open up the NLCS against the hated Astros tomorrow evening. GO CARDS!

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Damn, Yippee, And Happy Birthday

Second home game of the young season, second loss I have witnessed in person, third time I found myself cursing Lalime. The boys put up six goals and played a good second period, yet we could not win. With supect goaltending and defense and no real scoring threat to speak of(until Tkachunky gets back in game shape) it could be a long season. Hopefully, the defense matures quickly, because, they have potential. And, hopefully, Lalime remembers how to actually stop a puck sometime soon.

After leaving the arena and changing from my Blues jersey(Jackman-injured) into my Cardinals jersey(Rolen-injured. Yeah, I curse players by buying their jerseys) Big Joe and I headed to a local bar to catch the late baseball game. This is the one time I was not cursing MLB for giving us the shitty, small market start times. We arrived ordered our food/drinks and settled in to watch a great baseball game and some very wonderful scenery(I am thinking of making that bar my sports watching venue from now on). One of my best friends from childhood was in attendence and happened to walk by about the 5th inning and we caught up. The Steph showed up a few minutes later and about killed the kid with a bear hug(she hadn't seen him in two years). At least I got to see one of my teams win last night and shared a Saturday evening in good company.

Happy Birthday Dani!

Friday, October 07, 2005

This Hockey Season, So Far...

I have watched one game and attended another and have definitely not been impressed with the play of our new "All-Star" goaltender. I have also noticed that if the Blues could actually come out to play in the second period instead of just skating in a haze, we might be 1-1 and the score in the first game would have been a helluva lot closer. I still love the fact that hockey is back and just hope my team can put three solid periods together. If so I think we have a shot of actually, winning enough to at least keep our 25 year playoff streak alive. I am being realistic here, I know this is not a Cup contender in St. Louis this year.

This is my first hockey season as a single man since high school and it is shaping up to be a good one. I have already been to 2 games including preseason and am going again tomorrow night(Thanks Big Joe!). I can't wait to actually see a good game, then I will be really pumped.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Dream Theater 1.5, But First...

Okay, I will get to the next part of the "Rod Stewart Dream" saga, but first, I had a weird day. I was working about a mile from home in the neighborhood where my ex-wife's parents(and the ex, sometimes) live. I was following my claimant and the person ended up at the complex where both of my ex-inlaws work. So even though I know several other people that work there, going in and asking any questions is out, because it could get me in trouble very quickly. As I am following my subject back home, I pass my ex going the other way. About a half hour later, I got home and soon after, I receive a call. The ex is calling to tell me one of our old pets was just put to sleep and she thought I should know(actually, rather thoughtful of her), and, "Hey, do you want to go out to dinner sometime?". *NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! you stupid bitch NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!* My actual response was, "I don't like you, I really don't have anything to say to you and I don't want to fight with you. You are about the only thing that stresses me out anymore. I don't need that." I was trying to be nice about it, but, it probably came out pretty blunt.

Anyway, on with the fun stuff:

So, if you are not a regular reader of my sister's blog(hell, until the last few days, none of us have been for months), you need to read her entry, HERE, first.


Good, now we can move on.

A few weeks after the Steph called me to share this dream with me, I had to work down in Baltimore. My company nor myself were licensed in Maryland at the time, so, we had to work with another company's employee present in order to be legal. Wait, let me go back a day or two before this so it will make a bit more sense.

I was driving through north Jersey a few days prior to my Maryland trip. I had heard on the radio that Rod Stewart was playing at a local venue that night and Poison(you'll see) was playing at the same venue the next night. I call Steph as soon as I hear the commercial for both acts, because, A) any time I hear something about Rod Stewart it is almost a Pavlovian response to call her, and B) Poison being mentioned in the same commercial as Rod Stewart just about made me drive off the road in a fit of laughter(you'll find out why soon enough).

So, the other employee I had to work with happened to be a Brit who had just moved to the U.S. a few months prior. With Rod Stewart being so fresh in my mind I had to use this man to mess with the Steph. I told him about the dream and phone call and asked if he would talk to her and pretend to be Rod Stewart. He was more than happy to oblige. So, being about 9 a.m. on a Saturday morning, I place a phone call to my sister, who, let me tell you is not a morning person by nature(think SATAN on a bad day, if you wake her before noon). And here is how the conversation went.

ME: Hey, Steph, guess who I am sitting next to.

STEPH: *very groggy* Who?

ME: Rod Stewart.

STEPH: Yeah right, and I am about to wake up David Hasselhoff(yes Hasselhoff is a somewhat regular occurrence in our conversations) and see if he wants pancakes for breakfast.

ME: No, seriously, he stayed at the same hotel I am at, because he was performing in town and I told him about your dream. He thought it was funny and would like to talk to you.

at this point I handed the phone to the brit.

BRIT: Ello, Love.

STEPH: Who is this?

BRIT: Who do you think this is?

STEPH: *her angelic self appears* How the fuck should I know? My brother calls me up and hands the phone to a stranger, how should I know who you are?

BRIT: This is Rod Stewart.

STEPH: Seriously, who the fuck is this?

They converse for a few moments at which point the Steph tells this Englishman...

STEPH: That is the worst British accent I have ever heard. You really need to work on your accent.

The brit starts to chuckle and hands me back the phone.

ME: What did you just say to him?

STEPH: I just told him his british accent sucks.

ME: *started laughing hysterically* DUDE! He's really British! *almost in tears at this point*

The Steph starts laughing and yet somehow, still manages to berate me for calling her so early in the morning and "What the fuck did you expect, dickhead!" I believe were her exact words. We still laugh heartily at this whole situation every time it comes up.

Stay tuned to the Steph's blog for the Poison reference in this story.

Monday, October 03, 2005


Sorry, had to get that out of my system. I'm back from a week spent working in Arkansas and relaxing at my Dad's in southern Missouri. I passed my license test, after receiving my study materials Monday afternoon, while finishing packing and getting stuff ready for my trip. I worked 14 hours on Tuesday and had my test mid-morning on Wednesday in Little Rock. Needless to say, I felt ill-prepared to take it but managed to barely pass it and now am the only investigator with my company licensed in Arkansas. I did receive a small raise, with a chance at another raise in December and have been assured my company is not marketing in Arkansas so I will not have to travel as much as the last few AR licensed guys did(we'll see).

I got a chance to hang out with my little brother and his family on Saturday night. In the short time I was there, I managed to help teach my nephew how to hit someone on the head and then watch the newly one-year old apply his new found knowledge to beat on his grandpa's head. I had not seen him since June or July and he is getting very big. He is off the charts for his age group in height, and in something like the 80th percentile in weight. And, he is starting to say words, although, when he hits someone, he just says, "Baaa. Baaa."(I love being able to corrupt them and then leave. Heheh.) I think I scored with the birthday gift I got him. It is loud and plays music and should teach him his ABC's at some point, but, for now I will settle with letting it annoy his parents. The little one played with it for a long while after he opened it. The kid is still as smiley as ever and seems to rarely cry. I can't wait to see him again. I hope to be able to post a few pics of the kid, but, haven't talked to my brother about putting them up here, and won't post them without permission.

Sorry about the lapse between posts. I should be home a bit this week and will definitely have some material to post on at the end of the week, what, with hockey season opening and having tickets to the home opener.