Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Feeling Catholic

Since I have nothing to post today and found this over at ltlme's place, I decided to do it myself.

Your Confessions.... Be truthful

[] I've run away from home.

[x] I listen to political music.(not because I want the message, but some of the stuff is just good music)

[x] I collect comic books.(not now but I used to so I will mark it. I wonder if I have any old ones anywhere around here)

[x] I shut others out when I'm sad.

[x] I open up to others easily.

[x] I am keeping a secret from the world

[x] I watch the news sometimes

[] I own over 5 rap CDs.

[] I own an ipod.

[] I own something from Hot Topic

[x] I love Disney movies.(although anything animated{not including the cg stuff} after aladdin isn't that good)

[x] I am a sucker for Blue eyes.

[] I don't kill bugs.

[x] I curse regularly.

[] I have "x"s in my screen name.

[] I've slipped out a "lol" in a real conversation.

[x] I love Spam (as in the food). (can't beat it with a fried egg on a toast)

[x] I bake well.(give me directions and I will make it)

[] I would wear pajamas to school.

[] I own something from Abercrombie

[x] I have a job

[] I love Martha Stewart.

[] I am in love with someone.

[] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS

[x] I am self conscious.

[x] I like to laugh.

[] I smoke a pack a day.

[] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.

[] I can't swallow pills.

[x] I have many scars. (i'm accident prone)

[]I've been out of this country

[x] I believe in ghosts.

[] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room

[x] I am really ticklish.

[x] I love chocolate.

[x] I bite my nails

[x] I am comfortable with being me.

[x] I play computer games/video games when I'm bored.(not nearly as much as I used to thank god)

[x]Gotten lost in the city.

[x] Saw a shooting star.

[] I had a serious Surgery.

[] Gone out in public in your pajamas

[] I have kissed a stranger.

[x] Hugged a stranger.

[x] been in a fist fight with the same sex.

[] Been arrested.

[x] Laughed and had milk/soda come out of your nose.

[x] Pushed all the buttons on an elevator.

[x] Made out in an elevator.

[x] Swore at your parents.(I still regret it, but, it was when my mom told me they had put my dog to sleep. I had just been playing with him 5 hrs before I got the call)

[x] Kicked a guy where it hurts.

[] Been skydiving. (i want to though)

[] Been bungee jumping.

[x] Broken a bone. (pinky toe counts!)

[] Played spin the bottle.

[x] Gotten stitches

[] Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.

[x] Bitten someone.

[] Been to Yosemite Falls.

[x] Gotten the Chicken Pox

[x] Crashed into a car (i wasn't driving though)

[] Been to Japan

[x] Ridden in a taxi.

[x] shoplifted.

[x] Been fired.

[] had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.

[x] Stole something from your job.(the bookstore was awesome for this. although, they considered it stealing the books that had been stripped of their covers and were going to be thrown away. I took plenty of them, my manager didn't care)

[x] Gone on a blind date.

[] Had a crush on a teacher/coach.

[] Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.

[] Been to Europe.

[x] Slept with a co-worker.(I had worked with my ex at two seperate jobs)

[x] Been married.

[x] Gotten divorced.

[x] Saw someone dying.

[x] Driven over 400 miles in one day.(too many times to count)

[] Been to Canada.(workin on it)

[x] Been on a plane.

[x] Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show(need therapy)

[] Thrown up in a bar.

[x Eaten Sushi.

[] Been snowboarding. (I want to, but, don't want to give up my ski time)

[x] Been skiing.

[x] Been ice skating.

[x] Met someone in person from the internet. (yep, i will admit it....and that person was really "off")

[] Been to a motocross show.

[x] Going to or have gone to college.

[] Done hard drugs

[x] Taken painkillers. they were presribed

I think you are supposed to add your own confessions at the end, but I am not that motivated. Can any of the Catholics out there tell me how many Hail Marys and our Fathers I need to do for this one?

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

The Problem Isn't With The Car

When I bought my new car, I figured I would get all the paperwork I needed to license it. Two weeks ago, I went to the license center and handed the clerk the folder with the paperwork that I was handed, as well as the proof of insurance that is needed and a personal property waiver from last year. She told me I needed an MSO(a dealer title) and a title application that was not in the folder. I had not even opened the folder since I recieved it at the purchase. I placed it in the glove box and removed it when I went to license the car. I went back to the dealership and talked to the salesman who sold me the vehicle. He showed me copies of the documents and said that if they had made copies, that they had given the originals to me. I told him I didn't have them and hadn't done anything with the paperwork except put it in the glovebox. At this point the conversation took a turn for the worse.

Salesman: I'm not going to get into a pissing contest with you.

Me: I'm not here to get into a pissing contest. I want to license my car and I need certain paperwork that I didn't get when I bought the car.

Salesman: I have copies of the documents right here.*holds up photocopies* We wouldn't have these if we didn't give you the originals.

Me: What? Unless the originals walked out of the folder you handed me and got lost somewhere in the glovebox, where I can't find them, you did not give them to me.

Salesman: I...

Me: I don't care. I just want to get the paperwork that I need to license my car before the temporary tags expire at the end of the month. What has to be done to get the paperwaork?

Salesman: I gave the secretary the vehicle information(when he went "looking" for the originals) and she will order the MSO, we could make up a new title app right now, but, it won't do you any good without the MSO.

Me: Okay just make sure she gets that done. How long will it take?

Salesman: 10-14 days. *calls secretary while I am sitting there and tells her to get on it* I'll call you when I get it.

Me: Thanks.*dripping sarcasm*

So, last Friday, it had been almost 2 weeks. I called and was told it was there and I could pick it up after 5pm. Great, the license center closes at 5pm. I had to work Saturday, Monday and Tuesday(the last day my temp tags were good) and didn't know when I was going to get my car licensed. I went in today after work and got it licensed. When I walked in and handed the clerk the paperwork, I finally get a good look at the title and application that I picked up Friday and just thumbed to make sure it was what I needed when I picked them up. When the clerk pulled them out, they already had my signature on them, not a forged signature, MY SIGNATURE. The MSO didn't have DUPLICATE stamped across the top like it should have either. Funny, the paperwork that I had been handed 2 weeks after being told I had already been given the originals, happened to be the originals. Right now, I am steaming.

Tomorrow, if I get off early enough, I am going to go discuss with the sales manager about the manner in which my situation was handled, and hopefully rip a new one into the salesprick that sold me my car and told me I lost the paperwork. I had to call him to get it on Friday, I might still have been waiting if I had not. All that for paperwork that they had, that I could have been given two weeks ago when I went to talk to them about not getting it.

Monday, August 29, 2005

Tired, Busy, And Not Ready To Resort To Plan B

Well, I really wanted to do something for my 100th post that would be something different for me and nice for everyone. We will have to wait for another milestone for that. I have been extremely busy the last week and a half between work, helping the Steph move and traveling to visit my family in the sticks. I get home decently late most afternoons and have paperwork to do and an extra case to work most evenings(this is not mandatory, but it helps my cause and that of the company and could end up being a productive case-and maybe a few more from the same client-if we get results, so I put in time most nights). I am in need of an entry, because, being busy I have managed to collect a few topics to post on.

Topic #1- The Steph moved(no she is not dead, but, at least as busy as me).

We managed to get all of her stuff in the place over a week ago. However, between helping her get the furniture arranged in her room and just generally hanging out(the complex she moved to is not only loaded with young, single, attractive women, but, her unit is directly across the street from a very good restaurant that I grew up eating at at least once a month when my dad would come pick my older brother and I up for his every other weekend custody. I love Balducci's). I spent Saturday night-after working all day and playing ice hockey that evening(topic #2 is coming folks)-lounging on the couch haning out with several friends and drinking. Unfortunately, I did not acheive the drunken state which was my goal, but got a bit happy and passed out on the couch.

Topic #2- Ice hockey is slowly slipping(I can't wait until work slows down later in the year).

I have managed to not play ice hockey very often over the summer because of lack of time. I play roller just about every Monday, but, my weekend ice hockey games haven't been happening because I haven't had the time to make it out. I play very few Sundays and I never make the Friday or Saturday games anymore. My buddy, the Polish Monkey invited me out to fill in for a departed teammate for a game on Saturday and another on Sunday. Turns out, I am only really lacking in my offensive skills, which I never had in the first place, so I feel better about that. I also managed to get my first penalty since coming back to organized hockey after my lengthy absence. I used to get about 2 minutes a game and have managed to make it through a league and a few spare games before I got this one. I guess I have mellowed out a bit.

Topic #3- Travel

I managed to take a day and a half trip to visit my family in southern Missouri last weekend on Sunday and Monday. On Sunday my dad and I went on a float trip on the Current River. It is a nice, clear, cold, springfed river and is deep enought that, unless you take the wrong track you never have to get out of the canoe to pull it over any rocks. There are lots of bluffs and caves along the stretch we floated and it was very relaxing and great to spend some quality time with my pappy. Here are a few picks:

This is one of the first pictures I took. I like the mist rising off the water early in the morning.

This is one of the small caves at the bottom of a bluff. My little brother tells me it is pretty muddy in there. I did not explore any caves on the trip. We passed the large one without noticing it, because it is hidden and we were too busy talking the whole time.

Every once in a while a picture turns out exactly how I want it to. This is what I got to see all day. The water is crystal clear and reflects everythin really well. When you look down into it you could see the trout and bass.

Topic #4- My brother is moving(Unfortunately I can't go help him move into his place in L.A. but, hope to visit at Thanksgiving).

My older brother is moving to L.A. in about a week and will be coming through town this week on his way to a friends wedding. Then, back through town to pick up some stuff and head out west early next week. I am excited to see him as always, but, this time he is bringing me something really, completely and totally awesome. A piece of pottery that is approximately 2300 years old from a dig he has participated on during the summer the last 3 years. I love stuff like this. If I thought I would be comfortable living in a tent, making no money, competing feverishly for the little bit of funding that exists and very rarely getting a good shower, I would have gone into archeology. I would not have gone into the Roman/Greek history part of it, as I am a huge fan of "missing link" stuff and would have tried to go the human origins route myself, but I am a Discovery Channel/National Geographic sort of guy and love all that stuff.

Sorry, if any of you are feeling neglected by my lack of or infrequent visits to your blogs and lack of posting. I will try to be better about it over the next few weeks, however, this is one of the busiest times of the year at work and I may not be as attentive as I would like to be. Hope to be back soon.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Almost There...And, I'm It.

So, this is my 99th post on this blog. When I started I thought for sure there would only be a few readers at best and those would be my family and friends from the area. Boy was I wrong. I had something descently special in mind for a 100th post but don't know if I will get what I need in time. However, the next couple of days are going to be pretty busy, and I am going to leave town for a day or two Saturday night when I get off work. So, I may not post again until Monday evening, anyway. I will try to do something special for it because I never thought I was going to get here and I never thought I would "meet" so many people doing this.

Now, on to my next piece of business(hehe, sorry Erika, it had to be done.). KR has tagged me. It is very similar to the 10 songs only it is 5 and I have had a few changes since my last time around so here goes.

1) System of a Down-Questions. They keep putting out great stuff and are quickly working their way up my list of favorites.
2)Rise Against-Swing Life Away. Can't help lovin this song.
3)Gorillaz-Feel Good Inc. I love the Gorillaz, and when this song came out I was okay with it but in the last few days it has really grown on me. I highly reccomend their first CD although, realistically, it is not for everyone.
4)Killers-All These Things That I Have Done. I have had this CD for almost a year. One of the best purchases I have made in years. The songs never get old.
5)Mighty Mighty Bosstones-Someday I Suppose. I know, it is an old one. I heard it today and can't get it out of my head. I wonder whatever happened to Dicky Barrett and the boys. I really need to add a few of their CDs to my collection, I just never think of them when I am out buying.

Until next time. I hope to be able to at least keep up on all of your blogs the rest of the week. However, forgive me if I am absent.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

I Despise Very Few People

Does anyone else despise Bill O'Reilly? Because, I just happened to be watching Fox News and his show was on. I have not had that strong of an urge to beat someone with a sock full of nickles since the dishes incident.

Bill speaking to a former lesbian(she is now a christian and doesn't believe in it-how tidy for her case this must be) who is in a custody battle for her child with her former partner.

Bill: Do you regret having your daughter?

Woman: No, I don't regret having my daughter.

B: I mean, under the circumstances, being in a lesbian relationship, do you regret it?

W: All I have to do is look at my daughter, I love her. No I don't regret having her?

B: But, being in the relationship and now having to go through this do you regret it?

Bill, buddy, pal, jerksauce extrodinaire, just say what you mean. Do you regret being a lesbian and trying to raise a child?

Is that what you wanted to ask her you dipshit? Don't sugar coat it. We all know you are a hypocritical asshole. We all know that, given the opportunity, you who are trying to shame a woman for actually having the audacity to be gay, would gladly have joined in with her and her ex-girlfriend for a midday romp. My extremely conservative mother even thinks you are an ass(although, bless her heart, she will put it mildly, "He's very rude.").

Bill, why don't you ask her if she wants to repent for her sins on your show? I mean, my God. She and another woman happened to decide to raise a child together *gasp*. In, what was at the time, a loving relationship. But, now that it is over and the laws reguarding this type of case have never really been ironed out, it is probably taking the fast track to the Supreme Court. Should she regret her decision to have a child in a failed relationship-whether it be in a gay or straight relationship? I am a child from a failed relationship, neither of my parents regretted having me.

I have no idea why I even sat down and started watching the show. I hate it every time I do. I know he is just going to piss me off, by being ignorant to whatever poor schmuck happens to be the subject of the conversation. SERENITY NOW! Bill, you are an asshole.

Monday, August 15, 2005

One Gigolo Pic

My friend is getting busier by the day and has yet to get the time to send me pics. If you all go to this site and scroll through the pics, I am standing in the back row of the group photo, wearing the woven panama, sunglasses and the ugly ass shirt. Most of these guys were the coolest people you could ever meet. If anyone ever gets to Toronto(Mossy, Penny, you are included in this statement even though you are already there) show some love to Strawberry Luv, when you get there. This guy was awesome. Funniest guy I have met in a long time.

One Week

Well, it took exactly one week for me to finally come down off my cloud and return to real life. I managed to work every day last week. Went without electricity from Saturday afternoon until this morning at about 8 a.m. and went to get my car licensed today and found out that the dealership did not give me the proper paperwork and now I have to wait until the end of the month because it is going to take them that long to get the proper paperwork for me. I avoid the license center at the beginning/end of the month because it is a madhouse. Now I have no choice. I got to the rink where I was going to be playing hockey this evening and the power was still out there. I knew my good luck wouldn't last.

At least I am still employed, which, I thought I might not be as of now and my January ski trip is planned, so I have that to look forward to. I have also recieved several phone calls from a woman I met in Vegas(I don't know if she is dating material, but, hell she lives in Vegas, so I really don't have to worry about that. I guess as long as we are both interested, trips out there can be a little more fun) and reconnected with a friend I haven't spoken with in almost a year, so things aren't all piss and vinegar around here, just heading back to average. I miss spectacular, average is going to be a let down for a while. If it weren't for my online conversations today, Monday would have pretty much sucked. Thank you to the wacky Canucks(you know who you are) for keeping me entertained.

Friday, August 12, 2005

Musical Possesion

I don't know how many of you remember my post about my shitty stereo in my van. Yesterday, it got scary. I was listening to the radio, I think it was "Damnit" by Blink 182. All of the sudden my dome and rear interior lights started flashing...ALONG WITH THE MUSIC! I was a bit disturbed and now, really believe my van is possessed. I don't know whether I want to hit the damn thing anymore when it goes out. I am afraid that one of these days my van might go all, "Christine" on my ass.

Now, on to other musical possession. The post on 10 songs got me thinking. I love music. I have never been able to play an intrument or sing, though, so I have to be content listening to it. The 10 songs I presented are only 10 of the songs playing on the radio in regular rotation, right now, that I like(there are quite a few more that I like that didn't make the list, just from the radio). Callie mentioned "Dock of the Bay" on her blog. Dani mentioned "Lucky" on hers. Those 2 songs are in constant rotation on my media player on my computer and both are on mix discs that I have burned and listen to in my car. So, I came up with a few more lists:

My top 10 favorite artists in no particular order;

1)Pink Floyd-I love almost everything they have ever done.
2)Dave Matthews Band-I have never heard a bad song by these guys. I even loved his solo album.
3)Tool-Great music to listen to when I am pissed or need to get pumped up.
4)R.E.M.-Automatic for the people is one of my favorite albums of all time. The song "Try Not to Breathe" has a very special place in my heart, but, that is a story for another post.
5)Billy Joel-He is the best live performer I have ever seen and I have yet to hear a song I don't like.
6)Eels-Most of you have probably never heard of them, but they get me, really.
7)They Might Be Giants-Sometimes, music just needs to be about having fun, and these guys are hardly ever too serious, although, most of their songs actually have something to say.
8)Tom T. Hall-God bless older country musicians, that could actually tell a story.
9)Radiohead-They keep getting progressively weirder. I love it from the more radio friendly "Pablo Honey" disc all the way to "Hail To The Thief".
10)George Clinton-In any of his incarnations from a solo artist and beyond, the man is a genious. We can even thank him for The Red Hot Chili Peppers. If any of you get a chance give "Maggot Brain" a listen. It is one of the most moving songs I have ever heard(the name wouldn't really give that away).

A few honorable mentions: Peter Gabriel, Tori Amos, and Underworld.

The top 10 CDs in rotation in my CD players;

1)Interpol-Antics. I just picked up this disc last week and every listen I like it more.
2)Killers-Hot Fuss. There is at least one person I know who is resisting listening to this disc, because, it has been so hyped. If you are like this, my advise is, don't resist. Give it a listen. It was possibly the best disc released last year.
3)Dave Matthews Band-Stand Up. Not one of their best discs but I still enjoy every song on it and there are a few tracks on this one that rank with their best songs. I especially enjoy "Dream Girl", "Out of My Hands", and "Old Dirt Hill".
4)Dave Matthews Band-The Gorge(double disc live album). If you have never heard DMB live, you are definitely missing out. They are one of those rare acts that sound better live than in the studio. Almost a jam band but with a little more structure.
5)Ned's Atomic Dust Bin-God Fodder. A great retro disc. I remember my older brother playing this, in between his Cure albums. God bless Ned's. One can only take so much of the Cure.
6)Pink Floyd-The Final Cut. Many would argue that Dark Side of the Moon or The Wall are their best. I think this one is. I can't think of a better last hurrah for Roger Waters either.
7)Tool-Undertow. I have never been able to leave this one out of the rotation, for too long. It always finds its way back into the player.
8)Bill Withers-Live At Carnegie Hall. I like a lot of Bill Withers songs. But, I listened to his greatest hits album and then listened to this one. This one is unbelievable. He works the audience, tells stories and sounds better than he did in the studio.
9)The Pixies-Death to the Pixies(double disc). The Pixies influenced a lot of people. I never really listened to them until I heard "Where Is My Mind" in Fight Club. I do not regret giving them a shot. Love this set, with a studio greatest hits disc and a live disc.
10)The Refreshments-Fizzy Fuzzy Big and Buzzy. Since I finally bucked up and bought this disc around Christmas it has been in constant rotation.

I apologize for the longwinded entry. Music is one of the things in my life I am very passionate about.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

It's About Time

I've been saving this link since Christmas. My other little brother Andy has a band and their site has been under construction. It is finally done. Go check them out.

8th Plague

I love ya brother. Good luck.

Okay Brad, Let The Losing Begin

I have had a great last few weeks. I bought a new car, won a trip to Vegas, had possibly the best weekend of my young life in Vegas, and a few days ago, finalized my plans for my yearly ski trip-with my dad, stepmom and youngest brother Brad a.k.a. Nickleplate-to Steamboat, CO, in January.

Last night Brad asked me if I would help him be accountable on a diet, by dieting with him. As I am about 30 pounds over a decent weight for myself, I did not hesitate to say yes. I mean, we both have to be in good physical condition for the ski bunnies that frequent the hot tub at the condo. I think it will be easier for me to lose the weight because my lil' brudda is actually in pretty good shape, is active and really doesn't carry a lot of extra fat, however, he also has a target weight in mind for himself. We are both shooting for a loss of 25 pounds. I could stand to go about 10-15 more than that, but I choose not to be too greedy. If I can get to 25 down, I can lose the rest from there.

Good luck, Brad.

You all will be able to moniter my progress on my sidebar, as long as I can figure out how to work the ticker.


Okay, I have been tagged and it has fallen upon me to choose 10 and only 10 songs that I am really diggin right now. This is hard for me because there are songs that are constant on my list of songs of the moment. Several have been on there for years. So I will just go with the new releases that are gettin to me.

1-Sugar We're Goin' Down By Fallout Boy
2-Oh By Ciara
3-Swing Life Away By Rise Against
4-Girl By Beck(click "view 'girl'" when at this link)
5-Devil In Me By The 22-20's
6-Happens All the Time By Cold
7-Fly Away By Nelly
8-Spoiled By Joss Stone
9-Violent Pornography By System of a Down
10-Time to Waste By Alkaline Trio

I mostly listen to the alt-rock station on my possessed van stereo and switch to the pop station a bit. The thing about the pop is that I don't know a lot of the names or artists so I just put those that I know up. I will not tag anyone but if you want to do it be my guest.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Some Babies Are Just Too Cute For Words

So, with Motherdear's posting of her kid pic and Mossy's challenge to post a baby pic, I figured, I was cutest as a toddler. So here you are. Let the Cooing commence.

Damn, I was a cute kid.

Monday, August 08, 2005

I Have A Sneaking Suspicion...

...that the gigolo contest may be shown on Party@the Palms on E! on Wednesday at 10p/9p central. I could be wrong but was told to watch Mtv on Thursday also. I think they said at 9am Pacific. I was drunk so don't hold me to it.

A Few Pics(Unfortunately Not The Good Ones)

Here are a few of the shots of the sun rising over Vegas from my 31 floor suite at the Paris. I know these pics aren't what I promised but we will all have to be patient, as my friend that went with me is a very busy man and will send me the pics he took when he gets a chance.

I took these pics after the premiere party when I was drunkenly walking around the hotel looking for some fun. A few minutes later I was at the bar with a couple of locals who had also attended the premiere.

Sunday, August 07, 2005

I Want More

What a weekend! I don't know if I have ever had that much fun. I lost a bit of money, hung out with twenty-someodd of the coolest guys and their wives/friends/brothers/girlfriends from around the country and Toronto, had very little sleep, walked a red carpet, watched a movie in the same theater as quite a few celebs, attended the afterparty, drank a bit, and even broke Larry's Rule Number 1: Larry doesn't dance(but I will get to that in a bit).

Let me start off by saying thank you Robert for the pickup line. I had every intention of using the, "Hey ladies, which one of you wants to go halves with me, making a bastard?". However, I went second and did not want to be the first vulgar guy to those 3 beautiful women. They all laughed and liked it, so, even though I didn't advance{ :( }, I still consider it a success(I made three beautiful actresses laugh and call me sweet. SUCCESS). Mossy, Penny, let me tell you that Toronto was represented well by a music artist going by the name Subliminal a.k.a. Strawberry Luv. I never stopped laughing when Strawberry was around. Your gigolo won.

After the contest, we all went our separate ways for a few hours. I went back to the tables to try to recoup some of the extensive damage done to my bank account the evening before(don't gamble when you have had zero sleep and nothing to eat all day). I managed to make a couple hundred dollars back before the premiere(not nearly what I lost). We all met up and boarded our buses for the premiere.

Let me tell you all, I now know what it feels like to be watched. While we were making our entrance on the red(okay, leopard print) carpet, there were crowds of people watching us, trying to figure out who we were. The guys from L.A. and Seattle both took spills on the carpet. Watch E! and Mtv throughout the week and you might catch glimpses of the contest and the red carpet.

The movie was extremely funny. If you liked the first Duece Bigelow, you will like the second one. European Gigolo was much raunchier, and I laughed more. But, it was predictable and very similar to the original. I would recommend it to any Duece fans out there and those of you with filthy minds(you know who you are).

After the movie, we all proceeded to a party in another part of the Palms. I got to meet several people including Eddie Griffin, Michael Irvin, and Joe Jackson(Michael's dad). O.J. Simpson was in attendance, but I managed to avoid him. I now know how the other half lives and I love it. There were midgets running around in diapers and bonnets, mostly naked, wet dancers in a glass enclosure behind the bar(I regret to inform you all that all of the good pics are on my friends camera and phone and thus I have to wait for him to email them to me before I can post them), servers with dicks for noses(see the movie folks), more dancers in leopard print bikinis on raised platforms around the room, and more beautiful women than I have ever seen in one place in my entire life. I got rather drunk and danced most of the night. At one point I even danced with Hanna Verboom, who plays the lead female role in the film. How's that for breakin my rules? To end the night I stayed out at a bar at the Paris conversing with a couple of local ladies who had also attended the premiere.

After a couple hours sleep, I managed to go back to the tables and win a bit more of my money back before we had to check out. Still not enough to keep me from being well in the red for the trip. However, even if I hadn't won any of it back I would still feel like I stole something for the money I spent/lost on the trip.

Friday, August 05, 2005

So I Lied. Sue me.

I thought I was done posting for the weekend but I managed to do a little blog surfing while I am packing and finishing everything for the trip. I found this over at the Stone's place. Thank God I didn't turn out to be Lucy.

You are Schroeder!

Which Peanuts Character are You?
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Last Pre-Vegas Post

First of all, let me take a moment to thank each of you for your suggestions. I really appreciate all of your help.

I think I have a winner, for a pick up line. I finally found my outfit this morning after work. The shirt is hideously, awesome(gold toggles and all). I have one thick fake gold chain, as I am going to try not overdo it with too much jewelry. I found a suit to go with the hat and shoes I already own.

I was starting to get worried when I had to work into the evening the last few days and didn't have an outfit. All the thrift stores close at a decent hour. However, I managed to get most of today off after a few hours on the clock early this morning. Went out to the shop I had been trying to get to all week and made it a successful visit. I hope to return to you all as a conqueror of lesser gigolos. If I am bested, I just hope to return to you all in one piece. My friend has warned me that we will be celebrating my divorce while we are out there(I haven't seen him since it was finalized), and, well, as a stated in an earlier post we may need bail money. I will have the Steph send up the Jackass signal if this is nessessary.

Everyone enjoy your weekends. I know I will.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Penny For Your Thoughts.

I got this over at P-Shags place. I liked it and it is short, sweet and to the point. Please, be gentle.

1- Who are you?
2- How long have you known me?
3- Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
4- Describe me in one word.
5- What reminds you of me?
6- If you could give me anything what would it be?
7- Ever wanted to tell me something you couldn’t?
8- Are you going to put this on your blog and see what i can say about you?
9- What do you love like a kid loves cake?
10- What makes you come back here?

Have fun.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

To Larry's Faithful Readership:

Okay, y'all. Larry's stuck out at work right now, and can't post, so he asked me for a bit of help.

Here's what's going down: This contest that he's in requires him to dress and act like a gigolo, which isn't exactly his area of expertise. He's got to have a gigolo outfit, a gigolo strut and a better pick-up line. Now, this will only get him through the first round. If he makes it, though, he will be one of 5 finalists, and he mentioned something about baby bonnets and diapers after that, so it behooves you all to help a brother out. Here's what he needs:


-Does he dress more like a pimp, or a sleazeball?
-He's already got a hat to wear, but he'll change it for a better idea, if one comes along.
-How many gold chains is too much?
-What about a pinkie ring??
-He has super-short hair, so style suggestions will get you nowhere. (Unless you're talking about a wig or something.)
-Platform shoes?

I think he's leaning more towards the "sleazeball" look with the mostly-unbuttoned silk shirt, polyester pants, and gold chains. He just wants to see what you guys think.


-How does a gigolo walk??
-How do you discern a gigolo walk from a pimp strut? Is it the cane?
-Keep in mind Larry's white, and has all the grace of a drunken baby when he's
not playing hockey.

Who knows what he'll really do here with these suggestions, but you can tell him anyway.


-Ladies, what are some of the funniest ones you've heard? And the worst?
-Guys, what lines work for you? Which ones don't?

So far, Larry's come up with, "Hey darlin', my name's Lyle, and you're gonna love it..." (Um, you all know who Lyle Lovett is, right?)

So there ya have it. Do the right thing, people. Larry's just dying for that golden boner.

(Award. The Golden Boner Award.)


Monday, August 01, 2005

It's A Jelly, Eh.

Over the past few months I have come to the conclusion I should have been born a Canadian. Don't get me wrong, I love being an American and wouldn't change it for the world, but... I love hockey, their national pasttime. I love lacrosse, their national sport. Hell(as in H-E-double hockey sticks), I even love their imported actors.

Here is an example.

Great White North

Penny, this is for you. I told you they exist. They each have a couple of things they say when you push a button the side of the display. I wish they would have put a mouse in one of the beer bottles. It would have made them even cooler than they already are.

For those of you who don't know who these guys are, check out Strange Brew. Ahhh! Take off, you hoser(s).


I knew it was going to be a busy day today. Last night before I went to bed, I even made a list of things I had to do because I knew if I didn't I would forget at least one thing. Well, in the middle of the list, I went home for lunch and to pick up some paperwork and such that needed to be sent out for work. I had been talking to Capt. Icehole when I walked into the house and don't get good cell service in my neighborhood, much less inside my house. So, I told him I was going to switch phones and he said he would call me back in a few minutes when he got home(I know this is getting long and drawn out but bear with me it gets better). A few minutes pass and my phone rings. I pick it up thinking it is going to be the Capt. Boy was I wrong.

Most of my regular readers remember a week or so ago when I won tickets from my local radio station. Well the drawing for the trip was today and I wasn't the first choice, I was the second. The first guy couldn't make it. I leave Friday for a few nights in Las Vegas. On Saturday afternoon I will compete in the Duece Bigalow Male Gigalow obstacle course for the coveted GOLDEN BONER AWARD and then in the evening go to the Vegas premier of European Gigalow. If my regular readers could put together a bail money fund that would be great, cuz, the friend I am going with is definitely going to get us into some trouble. There will be pics and video(if I can get a decent video editing program for cheap and figure out how to host it) to follow.

I did manage to finish my list and play hockey for a second day in a row. I am also contemplating having a contest to come up with vanity plates for my new car. 6 characters max and 1 space. Have fun with it and please remember the bail money. The Steph will have to let you all know if I need it.